Dinner dates are more formal than coffee dates, so good etiquette goes a long way in making her feel respected and cared for. Here’s what to keep in mind.
First, let her have input on the restaurant (or choose wisely). Ask her if she has any dietary restrictions (vegan, gluten-free, etc.) or cuisine preferences before picking a place. If you suggest a restaurant, explain why you thought she’d like it: “I remembered you said you love Italian food, and this place has great pasta—plus, it’s not too loud, so we can talk.” Avoid places that are too expensive (unless you’re both comfortable with it) or too casual (like a fast-food joint) for a first dinner date.
Second, be a gentleman (without being outdated). Hold the door open for her when entering the restaurant. Pull out her chair if the server doesn’t do it. When ordering, let her go first, and don’t interrupt her when she’s talking to the server. If she offers to split the bill, you can say, “I invited you, so let me get this one—but next time, you can treat!” This is kind and leaves the door open for a second date.
Third, avoid messy or hard-to-eat foods. Steer clear of dishes like ribs, lobster (with lots of shells), or spaghetti (unless you’re both comfortable with it)—they can be awkward to eat, and she might feel self-conscious. Opt for something easy to handle, like grilled chicken, salmon, or a salad. Also, don’t order alcohol unless she says she’s okay with it—stick to water, soda, or iced tea if you’re unsure.
Fourth, keep the conversation light and positive. Dinner is a time to connect, not to vent about work, complain about exes, or talk about controversial topics (politics, religion). Instead, ask her about her hobbies, her favorite travel spots, or her goals. Share fun stories about your life, but make sure to ask her questions too. For example, “I went to a concert last month—have you been to any good shows lately? What’s your favorite music genre?”
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